Period.

So exciting! Set up the red tent! Exactly thirteen days after my peak day (and presumed ovulation). Another thing I like about FAM: charting not only gives you an excellent idea of when to expect your period (the number of days between ovulation and menstruation varies from woman to woman, but is generally very consistent for each woman), but checking your cervix (or having it checked) also gives you a more helpful heads-up that it's arrived than, say, waiting to bleed through a pair of pants. I went from no spotting at all yesterday, to a little bit of blood with a cervical check this morning, to an almost-full Keeper cup at the end of the day. (When I was on birth control, I had barely that much flow the entire week!) Speaking of which, if you're not using one yet, I highly recommend it. And if you haven't read this, I'd recommend that too. Another very woman- and period-positive resource is here. It was reading Northrup's chapters on things like self-care and menstrual wisdom that actually made me jealous of women who were cycling, and that started our whole journey toward fertility awareness.

Another thing I like about being off of birth control: my body and I get the blame and the credit for everything. If I'm teary? It's not because I'm on the pill, so maybe something is really wrong. And when people used to tell me "You have pretty skin," I'd say "Oh, everybody does when they're on the pill." But you know what? I'm off the pill, having my period, and my skin still looks nice, if I do say so myself. Maybe it was me all along.

First Thermal Shift!

Like clockwork, after two days of unmistakable eggwhite-quality cervical fluid, I experienced a dramatic, almost half-degree temperature shift. (My normal basal temp is between 96.9 and 97.2; it jumped up to 97.6 and has continued to rise to 97.8.)I'm on my third consecutive day of high temps now, and I'm also three days post-fertile fluid. All right on schedule, and as long as everything remains the same, tomorrow I should enter my post-ovulatory infertile phase. It's the phase that generally lasts between 12 and 16 days for almost all women; more than 18 high temps in a row are considered to be a pretty foolproof sign of pregnancy. So in a couple of weeks I'll know if we've been successful at using FAM for birth control, or if we unwittingly used it to conceive!

Here are the rules of FAM as I'm using it, based on the fertility awareness method as outlined by Toni Weschler in Taking Charge of Your Fertility:

-You are safe (to have otherwise unprotected intercourse) the first five days of the menstrual cycle (first day of your period is always day 1) if you had an obvious tempereature shift 12 to 16 days before. (If you didn't have a temperature shift, you may not have ovulated, and so the bleeding you're having is considered potentially a fertile sign)

-Before ovulation, you are safe the evening of a dry day

-You are safe the evening of the third consecutive day your temperature is above the coverline. (The coverline is a line you draw one-tenth above the highest LOW temp you have prior to ovulation.)

-You are safe the evening of the fourth consecutive day after your peak day. (Your peak day is the LAST day of fertile-quality fluid, which obviously you only know in hindsight!) This is considered not just eggwhite, stretchy fluid but also "creamy" fluid, which is a little hard for me to distinguish from normal vaginal dampness. If anything will be our downfall in terms of determining fertility, this will be it...

There's a lot more detail to it than that, so obviously you'll want to check out a book for yourself if you're anticipating using the method, but I thought I'd outline a little background on what's going on with me.

It was really exciting to see the thermal shift, especially right on cue. It made me feel like my body is some kind of science experiment that's actually working. I'm also pleasantly surprised that it occurred so soon after going off the Pill, since I know that that's not always the case.

Missing my fertility awareness blogger

We are super excited about the eggwhitey appearance today, but it is hard for us too because my wife is away this week, and her cervical checker (me) cannot be there to do his job. That may be too graphic for some people, but here is a surprise--we do more daring things than daily cervical checks. If your husband is game, I would highly recommend getting him involved on the action. I was really enjoying getting to know my wife's body, and it is a big bummer to be away during this big event. But, I know it will come around again.

Miss you and love you wife!

The Eggwhite Has Landed!

Shortly after I was beginning to despair that my fertility was never going to return, and feeling frustrated at the dead-end nature of charting completely consistent temperatures and a basic infertile pattern of cervical fluid, I was surprised and excited to find today that I have been experiencing a moderate to large amount of stretchy, eggwhite-quality cervical fluid. Hooray! I'm hoping to see a thermal shift in a few days to confirm ovulation, and then we'll be on our way to having some hard, helpful data about the length and characteristics of my cycles. The only sad part is that I'm traveling right now, so my husband, who has patiently hung in there for two weeks of fertility checks so far, missed the big event. Next month!

Getting Closer

I should begin by saying "heck yes" about my wife's previous post. We are definitely do-it-yourselfers, and have been steadily getting away from anything unnatural. But, this is an interesting time for a couple to choose to undertake such a project. A number of weeks ago, we thought that our marriage was shaken to the point that it might have came apart completely. We are so very glad that it didn't, but both of us are still dealing with the aftermath of this. So, it would seem sort of wild to some to try something that, if you are not careful, could end up in an unplanned pregnancy. But, we are the fearless type, and we work to keep our faith and our values in front of everything that we do. And so, bodily health, simplicity, communication, and a loving act, all of which describe the many good parts of the fertility awareness method, made the method seem to be not just a good option, but a necessity.

We feel like, as my wife previously said, that this is already pulling us closer together. Waking up at 5am with someone to take there basal temp will do this, but even more will daily cervical checks. I have been enjoying doing the checks a lot, but as we still go through our relationship ups and downs, I realize truly how much trust it takes to let someone, even your husband, do this. When we are not feeling particularly close, there is nothing like a mucus or cervical check to help us realize, "Well, you better get close." I have seen my lovely go through a gynecology exam, and have seen how uncomfortable that is, so I never want what I do to come anywhere near to that. Being in this intimate series of daily checks together has helped us to keep in mind that we are doing this for each other, and being comfortable, loving, and communicative is just as important as the charting or the checks. If we were not close or at least working to be close, why would we do it. No potential for closeness means no potential for sex, which means not much of a point for fertility awareness.

So anyway, we are doing well lately, even with the ups and downs. And I love my wife and deeply appreciate this time to learn more about her cycles. I am really so excited to see what affects this may have on her body, and where this will take our relationship. No matter what, I am sure that it will be exciting.

Why the Fertility Awareness Method?

After being happy on the pill for some time, and enjoying not only reliable contraception but also such side benefits as clearer skin, more regular/less painful/lighter periods, and a slightly inflated cup size, sometimes I wonder myself. As an OB nurse, I have an awareness of and access to the wide variety of contraceptive options out there. If I was sick of the pill, I could have opted for the patch, the ring, an IUD, a female condom...but I didn't.

There is no one reason, nothing that came to me like a bolt of lightening. Instead, it was a series of gradual realizations. One was that as I started to believe more and more in natural birth--in the idea that synthetic oxytocin isn't as good as the real thing, that the body and its hormones have powers and purposes beyond our current comprehension--the more that idea seemed applicable to the regular old menstrual cycle, too. What bodily wisdom was I defying by eliminating such an ancient and mysterious cycle?

The more I sought to avoid hormones in my milk and yogurt, the less sense it made to be swallowing them twenty-one out of every twenty-eight mornings.

The more we thought about having kids in the next few years, the more sense it made to try to let my body do what came instinctively instead of artificially regulating my cycles. I've tried to go largely organic and stopped eating fish high in mercury with the hopes that I will keep from bioaccumulating too many toxins--toxins which naturally concentrate themselves in the human placenta and breastmilk--did it make sense to be downing synthetic estrogen and progesterone up until such time as I was ready to have a baby?

And as we grapple with how to keep sex in marriage exciting, the idea of regular "courtship and honeymoon" periods (as one book put it), coupled with an increase in communication as well as a true partnership when it came to birth control, appealed to us.

We've also become crunchy, frugal do-it-ourself-ers, meaning that if there's something we can make or do at home, we're loathe to pay for somebody (or something) else to do it for us.

Take all of this together and then enter the books at right, which we came across on a shelf at our favorite used bookstore one evening, and presto: an idea whose time had come.

Sunday, Sunday

Today marks the day I would have started a new pack of pills. Therefore, it also marks the beginning of contraceptive uncertainty! I'm pretty sure I've started to see the beginnings of some cervical fluid changes (from dry to creamy) and so we're now obligated to consider ourselves potentially fertile (and to be safe, abstinent) until a temperature shift and a return to an infertile fluid pattern confirms that ovulation is over.

So far, we're only about a week into practicing FAM, but we do feel like it's already brought us closer. Talking about what kinds of intimacy are or aren't a possibility forces us to really be on the same page about it, and there's a real camaraderie to waking up at 5am together to take my temperature. And, it's hard not to feel close to somebody when you're ducking into the bathroom so he can check your cervix...

Welcome!

I'm starting this blog because when I first considered going off the pill and began to be interested in a more natural method of birth control, I wasn't able to find much in the way of personal testimony from people using the fertility awareness method (FAM) to prevent conception. I found plenty of information on the method, and some personal experience from couples using it to conceive, but very little in the way of first-person experience using it for birth control. I was interested to know what couples thought and experienced as they got the hang of the technical, as well as emotional, aspects of such an intimate subject. So I'm hoping to use this as a way to chronicle what we learn and how it goes!