...is how taking care of Eden has felt in the past day or so. Mainly I mean this literally--she's probably at least a good 13 lbs or so now now and that is a LOT to have hanging off your body all day and night. Which, most of the time, she is--either being held, worn in the Ergo, or nursed. One the one hand, I love that she's a snuggly baby and likes to be held, and we believe pretty closely in most principles and applications of attachment parenting. On the other hand, I have a permanent crick in my upper back, and I've gotten so used to holding her all the time that even when I'm not, I catch myself picking things up off the floor with my toes. It feels so good when I finally get to straighten up and stretch--when for a minute, I'm just one body--and when I do, I sometimes realize it's the first time I've done so all day.
Part of this is my fault. I've gotten used to doing things in a decidedly un-ergonomic fashion (such as way too much time spent holding Eden in one arm, cradling the phone against my neck, and using my other hand to change over laundry/type with one hand/make dinner etc) and I should probably work on that. She also seems to be in a very high-needs period right now (my own mother would likely point out that if she's anything like me, that "period" will last anywhere from three to twenty-three years) and so my approach for this week, at least, is to pick out the top two or three things I need to get done in each day, do those while she takes her naps, and then just try to focus on Eden.
For today: register for classes (done), take a quiz (next), and vacuum (saving that for when she gets fussy because it usually puts her to sleep). Anything beyond that is a bonus but I'm not going to sweat it. Instead, I'm going to do everything I can to try to enjoy my baby--and, barring that, at least to fully be there for her.
There's also a certain level on which things sometimes feel heavy in a more figurative sense. Remembering that we can't just dash off for the day because there are those among us who hate their carseats and can go through a dozen diapers in the space of a morning. Having three in the bed, which is almost always cozy but every so often feels crowded instead. Never making it through a meal without someone else yelping to be fed (no matter how recently this just occurred) in the middle. I feel so incredibly lucky that she has another loving, caring, attentive parent who is ready and willing to jump in and totally take over at moments like that. Thank you, Matt. I don't know how any mother--especially one with a more demanding baby than Eden, which I think most are--does it without a Matt.
On the other hand, when I do go away, like to work, I miss her so much. I never understood how a person could really miss a baby (miss what? their stimulating viewpoints?), but I do now. I miss her soft, fuzzy head and her gummy (and occasional) smiles and her heartbreakingly plump and squishy cheeks. And I guess that's what it's all about.
Part of this is my fault. I've gotten used to doing things in a decidedly un-ergonomic fashion (such as way too much time spent holding Eden in one arm, cradling the phone against my neck, and using my other hand to change over laundry/type with one hand/make dinner etc) and I should probably work on that. She also seems to be in a very high-needs period right now (my own mother would likely point out that if she's anything like me, that "period" will last anywhere from three to twenty-three years) and so my approach for this week, at least, is to pick out the top two or three things I need to get done in each day, do those while she takes her naps, and then just try to focus on Eden.
For today: register for classes (done), take a quiz (next), and vacuum (saving that for when she gets fussy because it usually puts her to sleep). Anything beyond that is a bonus but I'm not going to sweat it. Instead, I'm going to do everything I can to try to enjoy my baby--and, barring that, at least to fully be there for her.
There's also a certain level on which things sometimes feel heavy in a more figurative sense. Remembering that we can't just dash off for the day because there are those among us who hate their carseats and can go through a dozen diapers in the space of a morning. Having three in the bed, which is almost always cozy but every so often feels crowded instead. Never making it through a meal without someone else yelping to be fed (no matter how recently this just occurred) in the middle. I feel so incredibly lucky that she has another loving, caring, attentive parent who is ready and willing to jump in and totally take over at moments like that. Thank you, Matt. I don't know how any mother--especially one with a more demanding baby than Eden, which I think most are--does it without a Matt.
On the other hand, when I do go away, like to work, I miss her so much. I never understood how a person could really miss a baby (miss what? their stimulating viewpoints?), but I do now. I miss her soft, fuzzy head and her gummy (and occasional) smiles and her heartbreakingly plump and squishy cheeks. And I guess that's what it's all about.
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